I am a film geek, and as the first time I have posted a blog you all should know I am very proud of that fact, and nearly all of my mates are film geeks.

If you want to know what type of crazy shit film geeks get up to read on
remembering the following circumstances :

1. Near empty house with no risk of mature or middle age personage interruption.
2. Copious amount of alcohol and other such accoutrements.
3. A twin headed shower big enough to play twister in.
4. Video cameras.

This is however of course my subjective story.

Myself and 3 other soon to be party goers part ways after viewing and discussing (at length) the pros and cons of Jarhead (Sam Mendes, 2005). One pair (me not included) head straight to the party, I get a lift home off Rhett. Here I am forced to quickly do what i came to do, mainly change some items of clothing and pillage my house of beer. Rhett seems intent on kidnapping my dog, Puffin (photos soon to follow). I am all set to go but rhett continues to play with my four legged hyperactive canine associate. I drag him away (Rhett not the dog). Here we are at rule number one:

1. Always buy beer/wine/spirits if intending to drink at said party. Do not drive all the way there and suddenly realise that you have to leech of someone. Neither my self or my temporary chauffer broke this rule.

Also while buying beer it is recommended not to flirt with the whale of an cashier especially if she is an australian (ozzy rules football is weird).

We head to the party, as soon we pull up I can here it is in full swing. We exit the vehicle and walk up the path the front door to the house is wide open and a plethora of people are sat in a 3 foot wide hall way sucking on a shisha pipe.

Rule number 2:

Do not try to walk over these people they may hurt you by pulling hairs out of your shin or arse cleavage.

I proceed around back to find a further group of people imbibing fermented beverages:

Rule number 3:

Polish vodka with a % proof of 96 is by all intents and purposes rocket fuel. Do not drink it, well you can try it, but it evaporates at room temperature if unsealed.

Rule number 4:

Do not intentionally scare people who are on mushrooms, only do it accidently cos it is well more funny.

Rule Number 5:

If you brought a camera, get it out now and start taking pictures that become progressively blurrier the more you drink.

The host is now definitely with the man with the mostest, and is having a ball, so much so he ignores the fact people are climbing the trees in the back yard NEXT TO phone cable tv and internet lines. Not electrical power lines like he so vehemently attested to for about 3 seconds.

Rule number 6:

Puff, puff, pass. nuff said.

Oh yes, guys who've had surgical treatment for testicular cancer both literally walk and talk funny. And a week after halloween it still sounds and looks effing hilarious when you dont know why he is walking and talking like that.

Rule number 7:

Going for pizza by your self is boring sober and drunk its like an expedition into unknown territory.

Right that is it for now, If anyone should happen to read this I disavow any knowledge, but dont forget to read part 2 coming soon.